Dear Captor,
I, Khayyam Wakil, am not affiliated with any strange or bizarre groups that have any intentions to inflict harm on any human being (innocent or guilty). I also would like to inform you that none of my family is involved with any terrorist cells or organizations as far as my knowledge extends into their fairly risk averse lifestyles.
I do admit to setting off fireworks in a heavily tree filled area when I was sixteen resulting in a small fire, very small. This is the extent of my terrorist activities. Does it count if you've been terrorized by bullies? I guess I'd be the victim, forget that statement then. I once again emphatically deny any accusations that I am in any way, shape or form involved with any other person who would be willing to end life.
If you need references there are several complete and thorough investigations on me available with the Indian Police in New Delhi, Port Blair and Havelock Islands. In addition you will be able to find a concise C.I.D. report with the government of India. Since those reports I am confident that if you contact the US&A or Canadian governments they will have updated copies of my file(s).
I would also like to fight this battle on tourism, I am here solely for the purpose to smile and travel,
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.
Khayyam Wakil
cc: The Canadian High Commission, High Commissioner
Like my life couldn't get any worse. A judge jailed five "cruel and ruthless" Britons for life on Monday for plotting al Qaeda-inspired bomb attacks on targets across Britain ranging from nightclubs to trains and a shopping center. One of the five was named Omar Khyam, the alleged ring leader. Isn't that a slice of pie?! ;) It's taken almost forty days to get my Indian visa, took me a month to get out of India to begin with because of this whole terrorist thing. So in case of my mistaken identity as a terrorist I am posting this letter to whomever is so illogical to think a fuzzy haired swaggering cat from Canada who calls a backpack a home wants to think I have some ulterior motives.
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Hilarious! :)
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