So fresh and so clean, clean...

I have existed in a world only known to me. By this I mean that I have never allowed or entertained my family into my life. I shut them out of my life to save them from disappointment. At a very young age I recall hearing the word 'disappointed' coming from my parent's mouths with more frequency than should have been ;) So I opted to save them from the facts of my life. Only a few years ago did I make a conscious effort to share my life with my parents and family. It started when my mother and father showed interest in my artistic nature, they exhibited pride and a minute amount of support. Baby steps, then full stride and then a few steps backwards, forwards and you have yourself a dance! This was a beginning.

This blog recounting some of my (mis)adventures and displaying all the pictures that I have taken has been an amazing tool to use to allow my family to see just who I am. Yes, it's true... your son, your brother, your uncle, your cousin and whatever titles I might have... is very different. I have finally accepted it and have to give some insight to my family and friends about who I am. I am one hundred person certain that upon arrival (if & when) 'back home' that the interrogations will begin. As will it be in Pakistan but in a very different approach, the concern will be less but they will wonder when I'll ever cut my hair - soon, very soon ;)

The brothers are the ones who used to scare me the most. Hearing 'disappointed' from their mouths was the knife stabbed and twisted to maximize the pain. I just remember looking up to these 'gods' in my world as a child. Every little brother looks up to their older siblings and want to be made in the same likeness. The likeness to be had was from our father. We each have an amazing strength in one of our father's many traits. Salman, my oldest brother has a work ethic and business acumen that I am in awe of. He's always been the solid brother of the three. Gibran and I share many a jester quality, the showman in us. I've joked around with my mother about why Gibran and I are so similar and Salman is completely different - I used to ask if she had an affair ;) Of course this is absolutely in jest and was understood to be, there is no denying we are from the same block of which we are chips off of. Gibran and I have had an amazing relationship and from what I've noticed any of us Wakil's can push buttons and make one an other's blood boil... family talent.

Salman had left when I was about five years old and so I spent my better part of my child hood with Gibran. As far as brothers go he was the coolest one to have. I can recall countless hours spent in the backyard with the vehicle of the month that was being upgraded, restored, washed, you name it. I was free labour, he must have loved having me around. I'll strike that last bit from the record, we got along as long as I wasn't doing anything wrong ;) I made my mistakes mostly at his expense but lessons learned. Since Gibran is older there is this rule of conduct of minors towards their seniors in our culture - shut up and respect your elders, you're always wrong and they are always right. I do recall hearing my dad yell a few times at us for disputing to begin with. His yell always ruled the land like a lion declaring the obvious, he was king of the jungle.

And me, well I got the passion for life from my father. These travels have allowed me to open up in so many facets of my life that have been dormant; I grew a backbone, I grew an appreciation for my other life and a desire to merge the two - I grew.. I had been a very impressionable child, teenager and young adult and allowed myself to be swayed easily by those whom I had respect for. I made a lot of choices based not on what I wanted but what I thought would be met by approving eyes. Hadn't yet developed the courage. I didn't have the courage in me to travel like this before. It's sad for me that I have had eleven years to tackle fears and venture off to seek out the true booty in life - life experience, the most valuable education.


p.s. Salman & Gibran: It may seem like I am just wandering about without the clues to the mystery of life but I assure you that there is method in my madness. Can't wait to share with you as it unfolds. I love you two... you have no idea!