Projecting what may come...

Well, I have to say that I'm one hundred person certain that one can project their intentions and manifest them into creation. In English, that just means that I've dug myself out of a hole and am breathing much lighter now. I have had the support from local business owners, travelers and friends. I must thank two people in particular, John James Alexander and Emily Maria Berchick. Without these two people my life would be even more complicated than it is already. John is a human being with the most amazing light and presence like no other I've met with a heart reaching the ends of the galaxies. Emily has been nothing but understanding and has been carrying my sorry self in Port Blair resulting in a self defined 'dirt-bag' characteristic. I can go on and on about these two extraordinary people but anyone who has had the honour of meeting either of them knows what I'm talking about. So in case either of you two come across this blog, I'll say it once more - Thank you, thank you, thank you ;)

I have come to witness an amazing paradigm shift. I've read about people practicing magic or what seems like voodoo or even just creatively visualizing their 'destiny' or 'life' but I have to admit that yesterday it happened with such intensity that I've converted. It started when I gave some thought to what was happening in my world and how I was responsible for it. I narrowed it down to the time that I spent in Varanasi. Time in the last couple of days in Varansi were tight. I had spent an entire day with the owner of the Harish Chandra Ghat (the place where they burn bodies all day long and set them off into the Ganga to complete the circle of life). During our explorations we found ourselves having chai with a silk owner near the Ghats. I can't remember his name for the life of me right now but he was gracious enough to sit with me and discuss beliefs and traditions of India, not to mention clarifying some of the religious tales I've heard that were just plain wrong. We spent a couple of hours in discussion and I was also curious about this famous Varanasi silk. I've had material for suits presented and gifted to me before but I have yet to have one made. So I thought, why not?! We went to the tailor to custom make me a tailored suit. We're not talking about your double breasted suit here, this is the traditional garb to the area, a kurta (koor-ta). So I had one made and the day that it was ready I was getting ready to ship my bike to Kolkata and had to be at the train station well in advance to sort everything out. This left me with no time to go pick up my suit. So basically what I did was earn myself some seriously bad karma. I stiffed a Varanasi silk man who's very good friends with the man who burns all the bodies in Varanasi. I'm not too sure if anyone knows the abilities of some of the individuals who reside in the 'smashan' but I'll tell you one thing... I'd never want to upset one in any way - I did.

So the first thing that I needed to do was set my intentions to correct the karma and the wrong that I had done. Nonetheless, as soon as I took responsibility and set my intentions the Verse shifted and the world seemed very different. Things just started falling into place like an easy setting on Tetris. There were situations that presented themselves to me and I just simply placed the thought of what I would like to have happen and it would be acted out to the script. It was an unbelievable display of what could be accomplished in my world if I really applied myself to it. I have no explanation of the 'voodoo' that I was doing but I was doing it and effortlessly.

My world is now very much changed because of this and I am thankful for this boon. I will cherish it, nurture it and use it wisely.

So to all that laughed, worried and prayed... thank you.

Back in the ones and zeros...

It's been an experience. Let's catch everybody up on my current situation...

At present this is the predicament I am in: I had my bank card taken in Kolkata. I had shipped my bike from Varanasi to Kolkata and upon picking it up the supervisor in charge did not believe my signature was my signature (too flamboyant for Indians apparently) so I had to produce all my signatures on all my cards in order to retrieve my bike. In the frustration the card must have slipped under some of his scattered paper work. I went back the next day to get it and everyone shrugged their shoulders and looked stupid (sorry, frustration fueled that one). So, my main means of obtaining cash was now gone. I did however have a Visa card unfortunately I had my Visa shipped to me in Pakistan so it has no PIN number that I can use in an ATM machine. I am reduced to taking out cash advances from financial institutions. Normaly this would present no problem whatsoever, however I'm not on the mainland. This tiny little island has no bank that can facilitate my transaction.

Alas, there is/was some hope. There is a company called Island Travels in Port Blair that allows cash advances for a nominal fee of 10% of the transaction - can't do it. I'm currently residing in the most spectacular sunrise viewing resort and still have my guest house in Havelock. I haven't been able to go back to check out due to the fact that I have absolutely no money in my possession. It's hard knowing that you have money but really no access to it. I have to wait until Monday to try the State Bank of India, they may or may not accommodate me. If they do not, I have an option of getting people to book airline tickets, charge them on my credit card and take their cash. This is ridiculous, but this is the situation I find myself in.

I transferred funds from my bank account onto my credit card only to find out today that it won't be credited for 5 business days. I'm literally stuck in the islands.

There is a little hope left and I'm holding on to it and nurturing it so that it may grow into support from the Verse. Things are looking up and after I catch a 6am ferry (2hrs) back to Havelock tomorrow and then return the same day only to return back to Havelock the very next day. There is an Isreali saying that perfectly describes this... 'balagan'

Le Paradis Perdu

The 'French Fries' whom I traveled with in the Andaman Islands, Gokarna and Delhi conjured up a small video that sums up the Andaman Experience. Enjoy the show, or as the French say, appréciez l'exposition ;)

le paradis perdu
Uploaded by boursin_manu

The islands blues...

There is something magical about this little corner of the world. Again I find myself amongst the world travelers seeking quiet, beaches and sun. Everyone has their story, some of which I am still finding out on a daily basis. I have found myself pulling at myself in all directions. I am torn from my practice and am just existing - existing in paradise doing not much of anything really. It's quite like it is at home and the daily rituals. I am struggling to find something here on this island. It's around the corner for I have seen the clues the verse has left on my way to this way.

I am completely starved for words to express the funk that I'm transitioning through. I have yet to seek out my own solace in surroundings. It is necessary that I do so immediately. I am writing this down just to remind myself. I've been stuck in thought and my mind can weave the most interesting patterns. Too busy trying to plot, scheme and plan my upcoming days, weeks and months. I come up with a complete blank - this is the way of India.

No schedule, no plans, no anything. The chaos of spontaneity and lazy life has lost it's luminous luster. I feel like the sterling tea set that's been left out, victim of neglect coated in a black tarnish that no one is willing to take the time to polish. No one is right, there is only me, myself and eye.

The vanishing point...

I am going offline for some time. Please feel free to peruse the myriad images I've captured with a lens at www.flickr.com/photos/iamkhayyam.

I will return at some point in time. I am off to Havelock Island where there is no internet, no phone - only sand and sun.

My thoughts and prayers are with those whom I love and some of those whom I don't love so much either ;)

Four full moons since...

I have no real concept of time as I have stated before. I don't know what date, day or time it is anymore. I simply tell time by how many full moons I've witnessed. My first fool moon was in Pakistan during the wedding of my closest brother. The second came while enduring the chicken pox in Dharamsala. The third was experienced in Nepal while traversing mountains with motorcycles. The one I am currently writing under has me in the middle of the Bay of Bengal. Four full moons and plenty stars in between them.

I woke up this morning to one of the most magnificent sights. The sun rising on the endless horizon of cobalt blue water. In the sun the water shifted to a cerrilian blue or to make things a little easier, the #2 Laurentian pencil crayon. The suns brilliance was so powerful amongst this setting. The rays of sunshine spread into the sky as well as across the water. The day was filled with creative en devours. I managed to write in all three of my journals, read a two hundred page book and have a movie night with a couple of Americans and some Czechoslovakians. And my pursuit to find a thermos of chai had been successful.

The sunset almost dwarfed the sunrise with it's spectacular dance amongst the clouds. The sun had a deep orange rusted look to it with a luminescence that made the sky glow. It tucked in behind some clouds as if the clouds were it's cradle. Dolphins began leaping out of the water as if to say hello and make you aware of the current moment. As I watched the sun rays beam overhead the cloud formations I noticed on the other side of the ship the moon was rising. The rising of this moon had a mirrored image of what the sun looked like going to sleep. I was puzzled for a moment for they had the same hue but on opposite sides of the globe. I have never experienced such wondrous beauty in such a short span of time. The sunset to sleep and moon rise to wake - no words can describe this event, for words are merely symbols to represent our experiences that will always be interpreted uniquely to the reader. I wish I could, but I can't.

Art requires imagination. It requires Creativity. Creativity requires experience and experience comes from your life. And your life is expressed in your art.
Bruce Lee (1940 - 1973)

Floetic lucidity...

I travelled to Pakistan in the month of May. Upon arriving I had to face many challenges. Among those challenges was the emergence of my powerful and intense lucid dreaming. I had never experienced something so real. Reminds me of "Am I a butterfly dreaming I am a person? Or a person dreaming I am a butterfly?"

There was one dream that stood out and upon waking I immediately began scratching down what I spoke:

Havva

You are the wind that found me
lying on the drought infested earth.
And carried me along on a journey
from one land to the next,
until I found a home amongst fertile land.

With the sun and the moon as my care givers,
the raindrops as my nourishment, you
provided me with everything I needed.

I was never alone.

This proved to be the ideal
environment for me to grow.
Now in front of you exists a
garden perfumed of flowers..

All of which was never possible
without the wind and courage.

In this incredibly lucid dream I spoke words, the oddity is that I was speaking Urdu and woke up and wrote it down in English. I couldn't even attempt at trying to recite this poem in Urdu now if my life depended on it. But in my unconscious gamma state I managed to be completely fluent in a language I am only beginning to gain confidence in.

There is a reason that courage was found and I will always be grateful to the 'mazing soul that helped me see what was always there. Thank you.

Anger management?

Temper... temper. I've lost mine on two occasions to the point of complete hilarity upon reflecting back on them. When you get to India, one's heart pours out to those less fortunate. There is a caste system that doesn't allow any forward progression. You're either born into a higher class or lower class. That's that. It is taught very early to treat other human beings without any consideration. I would give to the elderly and the physically disabled upon first arriving - there are so many though. You eventually grow a thick skin and become immune to the sights that bring tears to your eyes, instead it's just the dust and bacteria in the air invading your pupils.

I have grown a very thin temper when it comes to shopkeepers. They continually invade your space. I understand this is their livelihood, but it grows tiresome and frustration sets in. In India the art of bargaining is just that, I found out in Nepal they don't share the same thoughts. I tell people to go to hell on a daily basis, pretend to be a complete tourist and then unleash most abusers I know in Hindi on them and my most favorite... bargaining.

I've been 'shalomed' one too many times now.

Yesterday along the Ganga a sadhu approached me and asked me for money. I got upset with him and argued my point in Hindi (I'm gaining confidence in my skills to start yelling in Hindi now too;). I asked him if he was a sadhu, his response was yes. To this I replied that if you are a sadhu you have given up all material items and everything is provided for you. Medication simply needs a monthly payment of five rupees, food is given, clothing is given and even the chai is gladly given. I tell them, if you're hungry... come have lunch with me. If you're thirsty, let's go have chai together. But you ask me for money, I'll tell you to go to hell. It's these fake-punk-ass sadhu's that give sadhu's a bad name. The real sadhu's are in forests talking to animals not tourists.

My anger management sessions have been going along swimmingly. I yell on a daily basis and get angry over the smallest of things. It is nice to see the other side so that I will be able to recognize it once again. You need both to exist and I'll just choose the path of least resistance when I get home. For now, I'm steaming from the nose with blood red eyes... Toro! Toro!