The busted station...

Events in this story may contain mature sexual themes and/or strong language. Viewer discretion is advised.

So get this...

The journey from Dharamsala down to Chandigarh was amazing. My very good friend Yakob drove myself and my two new Isreali travelling partners, Yuli and Lior, to Chandigarh. We stopped at magnificent scenery, laughed the day away, lived in luxury in a vehicle rather than the 'ordinary bus'. We were truly blessed to have such wonderful company and such a gracious host. We arrived in Chandigarh only for the night to leave for Rishikesh the next day.

Everyone in India tells you that 'everything possible' but upon further investigation 'not possible'. We were given so many stories of when buses leave and where, etc. After learning my lesson once before I decided to head down to the bus station to find out first hand. I got off the cycle rickshaw and not even a second after I put my other foot down a young Sikh boy approached me.

He asked me "Where you are from?"

"Canada"

"Oh... you don't know how much feelings I have for Canada" he said and added, "I have only seen Canada from the television. Maybe you want to 'taulk'?"

In my broken hindi I responded, "I only came here to find out some information, we'll see..." The converstation was mostly me trying to speak in hindi and he in english. He followed me from information booth to information booth. After going to five different people I finally found out the information that I needed. The last bus was leaving for Rishikesh at that very moment. The next one would be at eight in the evening landing us in Rishikesh at two in the morning. Not a suitable travel arrangement.

"So where you want to go?" the boy of not even seventeen years says to me.

"Go where?" I ask.

"Where you want to go to 'faulk'?"

"Where do I want to go to what?" I say with the most puzzled look on my face. It sounded like something I wasn't sure I really heard correctly.

"'Faulk'." he says sharply.

"Where do I want to go to F-U-C-K?" I ask with complete disbelief at what was transpiring.

"Yes."

I had to laugh out loud, for a very long time I might add. Some little kid just approached me in a bus station and asked to have sex. I was quite calmly in my response, "Oh yaar, that might float your boat but it doesn't float mine. I like women... a lot. I'm sorry that I can't help you out." in partial enlish, partial hindi.

"But you don't know how much feelings I have for Canada and for you."

"Oh... I'm pretty sure I do. Thank you but no thank you."

"Please, let me put your 'panas' in my mouth for five to ten seconds, please."

"You want to put my penis in your mouth for five to ten seconds? I don't think so. I'm flattered, but you need to go now."

He realized that I wasn't into biting any pillows or redesigning the interior of any homes in the near future and went off on his way. I just can't believe that I was approached by some little kid who asked to have sex with me. What was he going to do, take me from behind, behind the bus station? Did this ever work for him? Had he ever gotten someone to respond, Ya, ok... why not? (with the mandatory Indian head nod and shake).

I understand there is a population issue in India, but I'm not sure if this is the appropriate avenue in which to explore the decrease in population.

That's my story... unbelievable but 99% true.